Gasoline

The God high is like your spirit is breathing. It is a feeling of total empowerment, excitement and spiritual strengthening. It's connecting with God in dynamic way which is usually brief due to its intensity. I often find revelation and enlightenment whilst on a God high.

It's like when you don't realise how thirsty you are until you start drinking. Then once you have had some, your spirit feels quenched and the dryness in your throat has gone. You can run off this fuel for some time by just reflecting on it.

Yesterday I found a source for the God highs. I did not realise it was a fuel until now. The answer was so simple, but perhaps I've missed it because I’ve always searched for something more complex or theological...

Passion.

Pure and simple, orientated around a person directing it at the glory of God and His renown. It was shown from her active dream chasing to serve with zeal and desire, using the talents God has given her. Real passion is infectious, transparent and perhaps most of all, humble. I believe a proud person can never sustain true passion. I think the reason for this is motive, which, if transparent can be seen for what it is. Is it a genuine heart to serve God, or is it a performance orientated Christian behaving how they think they should? Watch people and discern; is it real? If it is, you'll feel it. Passion inspires passion.

Maybe we should allow ourselves to be inspired and give it to others more often instead of fearing that we may appear over enthusiastic or naive. It is a risk that those we share our dreams with will put a negative spin on it, or even just shoot it down at point blank range. So once again, we must risk wisely. With the right people, it’ll do them good. For those who crave God highs, passion is like a bacon butty to a hungry wolf.

Gasoline to the soul.

Out of control, into faith

We spend a lot of life trying to control what can’t be controlled. Too add insult to injury, our bad experiences wound us and cause us to seek further control to prevent said experience from happening again. The heart never forgets its injuries and naturally, we feel the need to learn from them. Stress and other life disruptions are caused by our failed attempts of control, which leave us frustrated by our lack of grip on life.

Psychologists believe that those who commit suicide often do so because it is the only control they have left. As extreme as this is, many of us will take try to use control where we have it in order to secure us, even when we only have a small amount.

Christians often say, “Let go of control - allow God to be in control of your life.” I agree with this to a degree, but we have to be active in our own lives, as it is not a dictation - but a relationship. God does not simply issue a command and have us follow it like R2-D2, but allows us take hold of our lives and follow our passions whilst growing in wisdom. Proverbs 16:9 “A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” This verse points to the collaboration of God and man, not one or the other exclusively.

I think a healthier attitude than the cliche Christian one is this: Accept what you cannot control and give your best to what you can control. Aside from the practical release of the tiresome and impossible task of trying to control and fix the world, this attitude gives room for something greater. It gives room for faith as we let go and remind ourselves that God is the director in His own movie. Our small roles simply don’t warrant our attempts to control the outcome of the film. This is like C3-PO demanding a gold lightsaber from George Lucas. Some of you may have noticed I'm sticking with the Star Wars theme.

Maybe we seek to control life more than we realise. If it goes our way often, we may actually succeed in controlling it. These people may miss out on this lesson.

Matthew 6: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

Empty seats

My mother once told me that if you reach the age of thirty and have established five real friends then you’re doing really well. I never understood this at the time, mainly because all I had to do at that age was share my jelly beans and I could pocket myself a cool three buddies in one go.

And here I am ten or so years later and it hits me that I actually have very few real friends and that jelly beans don’t have the same effect they used to. We can mull it over for hours trying to define a real friend. But let’s not pretend; let’s set the bar where it should be and let us simply call them ‘friends’. Friends we have chosen and have chosen us in return. I recently heard someone define a friend is the one carrying the other end of the couch when you need help moving house. The ones who didn’t turn up are not really friends. Perhaps this is a harsh reality to face but a necessary one for us to really be wise in our relationships. It is also a challenge as to how much of a friend we are to those we profess to love.

We’ve all had let-downs from friends who have used us to get something from us; lie to us, manipulate us to get their own way, gossip about us, desire to hang out with us only when their boyfriend or girlfriend is out of town, or simply prove to be unreliable or untrustworthy. We sometimes keep these people as friends because there is nobody else available. Sometimes it’s because we feel that to de-friend them would be to give up on them. Or maybe it’s because we think it’s what Jesus would do.

He wouldn’t keep giving Himself to those who wouldn’t honour or value it. Neither should we. To be forgiving is not to go back to the way things were and hope that it works out better this time. That is a combination of foolishness and a misunderstanding of grace. That old chestnut has had me on more than one occasion.

T.H. White once said: "Many of us give the best of our hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think about us in return". The saddest part of this is that we give our time to these people when there are people who we put on the backburner who have been there for us all along. This is not to say they will have been perfect, but friends will always have your best interest at heart, even in spite of themselves.

The truth is that when we choose our friends and our partners, we invest ourselves into them. Proverbs 4:23 says: “Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life”. When we invest, we take a degree of risk. So risk wisely.

For our own sake we must open up new categories for these other people.‘Acquaintances’, ‘colleagues’, ‘housemates’ or whatever you like. They don’t have to be your friends, so make sure the seats at your table aren’t filled with people who are there just to eat your food and drink your wine, but clear the seats even if there is nobody to fill them yet. Then when real friends then turn up after carrying the other end of the couch, not only is a seat available, you will be free to serve them.

Thirst

The body needs water like your spirit needs God. To deny your spirit this input is like trying to give up water because it’s free.

If I don’t drink water regularly, sure as gravity I’ll get a headache. I’ll dehydrate. I’ll probably get grumpy and make bad decisions. Even if I guzzle orange juice or stock up on cartons of milk, I’ll dehydrate without water.

Funny how sometimes we won’t give ourselves what we need, maybe out of some misguided attempt to not be dependent of anything. Atheists have argued that God is ‘a crutch’ for the weak and the needy. To which I think they’re partly right. I am weak, and I am needy. I need Him.

These atheists claim to use independent ‘inner strength’, which I find unconvincing, but not impossible I suppose. But if one does believe in a God, to do anything other than recognise that we need Him, is to fail to recognise not only who He is, but who we are.

In John 7:37, Jesus said: "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.”
Whether conscious or subconscious, people do what they do in order to achieve some purpose or fulfil some need. So when you’re in a dark place, get stuck in a rut, or find yourself doing something that displeases God.. ask yourself.. are you just thirsty?

Image is nothing, thirst is everything.
Obey your thirst.

Which way to Destiny please?

I’ve always believed that there was a pre-planned destiny for each of us. The reason for this is my belief that there is a God who creates, animates and binds all things in existence… this happens to include you and me. So therefore, there's a plan for each one of us.

As the Alpha and Omega He's pretty clued in and knows the exact time and place of my death, the woman I marry, the career / job I take, where I will drink my 2 millionth cup of tea and so on. I know this because He knows this. He is all-knowing.

And because all the plans are His, He should be the one to tell us where to go.

And so the battle begins as we try to work out what ’God is saying’. By the way, what an annoying Christian cliche question... "Yeaaaah, but.. what is 'God' saying?" All us Christians have been there with that one. What’s really disturbing to me is that sometimes when I need answers to respond to this, I hear nothing. Zip. Nada.

I have a friend who was in a job that she didn’t know whether to stay in or apply for a particular new one she was considering. When she woke up one morning, an application pack came through the door for the new job which she hadn’t requested or even enquired about. She applied and got the job. I’ll take signs like these any day over my method of opening the bible and letting it fall open at the page with the hope of the answer staring me in the face. Preferably something nice and obvious, like: "and so it was, he traded his donkey and went to a start a new job".

The pressure that comes from staying on 'His path’ is sometimes pretty heavy. Especially when you feel like you might not be where God wants you. Then you wonder if you’ve made an irrevocable wrong turn along the way.

What if I marry the wrong person? That’s bad for me because I just married the wrong person and now the person I was supposed to marry is marrying someone else who isn’t me and that means she's marrying the wrong person… A domino effect that ruins everyone‘s life, and it all started with me and my balls-up of a decision.
Thats quite a lot of pressure for anyone!

Here’s the pressure release. We firstly have to believe that if God is good to His word. We need to have faith that where we are is precisely the place He wants us to be. Even if we ended up there by accident or apparent fluke.

Second. God is way more interested in the kind of person you are becoming rather than where you’re going or what you’re doing. God is way more interested in the increasing likeness to Himself that He sees in you than He is about how successful you are.

Lastly. There is a path called Wisdom. Proverbs is all over wisdom like bees on honey. It refers to it is as the greatest treasure. God did not design us to be mechanical and robotic. The path called wisdom is a path we are all called to walk in order to make decisions and make them well. Not simply follow a command at every turn. We are called to be wise in our decisions. And as Proverbs says, “whatever you do, do it well”.

I went to university because I wanted to be a writer. That’s what I like doing. Its what I’m half-decent at. I didn’t hear God’s voice and an application pack didn’t appear through my door. Writing is a desire of my heart and seen as God created me - I think that’s a pretty wise reason to pursue it.

Sometimes what we are ‘supposed’ to do and where we are ‘supposed’ to go is just to follow our heart or our instinct (if you will). Make the choice. If you’re in faith and your eyes are fixed on Christ, wherever you end up will be where He wants you.

Man up

What is a real man?

Surely there is a bar or a standard that we male homosapiens must meet in order to live up to the title of 'a real man'.

Being a man is easy enough. If there is a bar or a standard, you're a man whether you cut it or not. But a real man with emphasis on the real is one that we have yet to really define.

The world's perspective may look something like this:

Smart, good looking, wears expensive aftershave, successful, pulls the women, rakes in the cash, famous, has charisma and the all-important six pack. (McConaughey takes off his shirt enough in each film for us to notice that..)

Looks about right I'm thinking. That's enough for every man to aspire to, which I guess in some twisted way makes you want to buy the aftershave, and buy into the idea of the real man.

The sad thing is that women don't help men in this. I've heard lots of my female friends say about the likes of Hugh Jackman; "That's what a real man looks like". Right, thanks.

Matthew McConaughey is one of many men who contribute to the way we think and one aspect of the whole influence. God's version of a 'real man' may seem a whole lot less cool. From His angle, the main point here is that the real man has one model. One template. One representative.

No suprises here as to where I'm going... Jesus.

Does a real man put everyone else before himself? Does a real man live promiscuously and conquor women? Does a real man mark knotches on his bedpost? Does a real man wack off to porn? Does he discipline himself? Does he live faithfully? Be easily angered? Fear commitment or feel the need to prove himself? Does he lust over women who are not his wife? Slag off his mates? Inflate his own ego, or choose to build up other people?

When you take Jesus as the template, the viewpoint changes. Was Jesus passive or weak? Absolutely not. Though he has been watered down by pictures, imagery and the way he's painted. If he had got down from the cross and kung fu'd them all, we'd think He was way more manly and cooler - but we'd miss the point entirely of a real man's sacrifice for love.

Sidenote, love is a masculine thing too. Love means taking risk, sacrifice and putting your heart on the line... what's soft and fluffy about that?

Humility, grace, mercy, love, compassion; all underestimated. In fact they are often seen as weakness and frailness of character. I suppose part of being a real man is the knowing and understanding of true masculinity.

The question you need to ask yourself is, what kind of man do you want to be? Buying Dolche and Gabbana might be easier.

Life vs Soup

We always have a choice.

Sometimes we know we're making a bad choice as we're making them. Sometimes we make the same bad choice over and over again... and again.

Some things seem to be such a great temptation that it almost seems worth displeasing God for. The problem is that these bad choices, though forgiven, plant a seed and bear a harvest in our lives later on. As sure and as predictable as gravity.

The truth is that anything that displeases God isn't actually worth the trade. Even if it seems good.

It's a bowl of soup. Remember this when we look in the face of the temptation of what may be the 100th time... it's a bowl of soup, and in no way is it worth the trade of the goodness of God in our lives. The goodness of God can be stolen if we surrender it by the decisions we make. This is a good reminder incase we fall into the trap of thinking that grace undoes our decisions and the consequences are therefore irradicated. They're not, and although we can be healed and redeemed and the sin forgotten by God, consequences are real and the effects can be difficult to undo.

In fact, some things are really hard to undo. Breaking habits; smoothing over the scar tissue. It can be like trying to stop a train coming downhill on slick tracks.

The salesman always tells us it's what we need, it will make us feel better, it's the solution... How can a bowl of soup do all that?